Girl with abduction fears wants help feeling safe

Dear Straight Talk: The abduction and rape of Jaycee Dugard has me terrified when I drive home late after work. How I can feel safe? Even during broad daylight, how do you tell a rapist from a sweet person who needs help? My friends and I all have the creeps. — 17, Santa Rosa

Peter, 22, Monterey: Always err on the side of caution. Don't help someone unless you're 100 percent sure it's safe. Stay aware of your surroundings, glance over your shoulder.

Nicole, 20, Arcata: I always carry pepper spray on my keychain. It's great for walking to your car. It's simple to use and sprays about eight feet.

Shelby, 17, Auburn: If you're on back roads and a car approaches with flashing lights, drive to a public setting before pulling over.

Molly, 17, Fair Oaks: Our media make the world seem much more vicious than it is. Much of your fear is irrational.

Maureen, 17, Redding: Don't be paranoid, but don't be naive, either. Scout your car before getting in, be hesitant if a big van is parked by it, don't sit in your car with the doors unlocked, don't roll down your windows for strangers. If attacked, deliver a strong groin kick or nose punch.

Ashley, 22, Auburn: Attackers want easy targets, so kick, scream and fight for your life! Trust a bad gut feeling.

Dear Santa Rosa: Most abductions do take place in parking lots, and I will repeat the panel's excellent prevention advice: Be aware of your surroundings, carry pepper spray or Mace, walk escorted to your car, scout it before getting in, don't linger in a parked car, don't pull over for flashing lights unless in a public setting and if someone needs help, keep your distance and call 911 for them.

If you get attacked anyway? Then Ashley is right. You must "kick, scream and fight for your life." My martial arts instructor, Dan Lovas of Auburn Martial Arts Center, said, "There's only one thing you need to remember, and that's to cause pain."

Abductors do not want hassle. These simple actions will cause pain even by small, untrained persons: groin strikes, side-kicking the knee, punching the nose, spear-handing the throat or eyes, prying apart a single finger and snapping it backward, titty-twisting the inner thigh or just below the armpit, elbowing anywhere, hitting with a hard object.

If they have a gun? According to Lovas, most abductors won't fire it. It is a prop to take you somewhere private without struggle. So always run. If they're holding you, cause pain, then run. In the almost nonexistent scenario that they do shoot, Lovas says that 70 percent of handgun experts miss a moving close-range target. Of the 30 percent that hit it, only 5 percent are fatal shots.

Ignore the gun, and your survival is 95 percent. Obey the gun, it's almost zero.

A knife? Same thing. Run. Almost never will an abductor throw it at you, Lovas says. If you are trapped or held, he said, "Treat the knife like the head of a venomous snake, reaching behind it to control the arm, while simultaneously causing pain elsewhere. Then run."

Sadly, most victims neither fight nor run. Lovas says they lack a mental construction for dealing with this kind of shock and they freeze.

If you cannot mentally picture yourself causing pain in order to save your life, consider studying martial arts. Lovas began training in sixth grade, because at 65 pounds, he was bullied regularly.

"It was interesting," he said. "Once I had the skills to defend myself, I stopped having to, because the way I felt about myself showed on the outside and people stopped targeting me. The ultimate defense is to be a happy, strong, confident human being."

Lauren Forcella co-writes Straight Talk with a panel of 30 teens and young adults. To ask a question or become a panelist, click www.StraightTalkForTeens.com or write to P.O. Box 963, Fair Oaks, CA 95628.