What does equality mean?

If you have ever wondered how we are qualified to homeschool our children, this should really clinch it for you: We don't have a diversity-training program. Brian and I just try to do a whole bunch of stuff with a whole bunch of people. There is no lesson plan, no state standard. Scandal, I know.

If we implemented a class in diversity training, we might spend more time worrying and wondering about all the dissimilarities and not so much time simply enjoying our friendships with people who are not carbon copies of us. We are probably scarred for life, and we are certainly damaging our children by not pointing out every difference we can find in the people around us.

Growing up in New York, my husband learned Italian and English at the knee of his great-grandmother. He spent a lot of time with his grandparents who, as they reminded him, "came over on da boat" and went through Ellis Island. His family worked on assimilating, and he never thought of himself as having a hyphenated ethnic designation. He has always been simply an American.

Some of our kids were born in Russia. Their culture and language from birth was very different than what it is now. It is part of who they are, but it is not all that they are. I tease my daughter that she is required by law to like beets, but she doesn't believe me. Apparently, some stereotypes aren't true. Hmm, maybe there is a lesson in that.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal," Brian began a discussion over dinner on the Fourth of July.

Sophia asked, "What does equal mean?"

"Equal" is a math word, you see, and it didn't make sense that men would be part of an equation.

Sophia had been lobbying for a discussion of World War II, a topic that has fascinated her since we talked about it over dinner on the 60th anniversary of D-Day last month. Instead, she got a lesson on the Revolutionary War and the Declaration of Independence. This seemed acceptable; she just needed clarification of some key points.

Equality. How do you explain it to a child? Maybe if we could figure it out, we could explain it to the media and our nation's lawmakers.

Sonia Sotomayor is currently making the rounds in Washington, preparing for hearings in which she will likely be confirmed as a Supreme Court justice. When she was first nominated, the big news of the day was not about her performance on the bench or her personal and professional experience. No, her ethnic heritage made headlines. She is a Latina. No, maybe we should say she is Hispanic. Talk show hosts spent hours talking about which was the appropriate terminology.

I just gave up listening as the conversation moved to parsing out the ethnic and gender makeup of the justices through history. Never mind what Sotomayor is made of if she fits into the diversity mold. Is that equality?

Are all men created equal?

Last month, two men died on the same day. One man lived his life in the public eye, rising to fame at a young age. He was repeatedly accused of unspeakable crimes against children while he was practically worshipped by millions. His funeral was a media circus with nonstop coverage.

The other man, Lt. Brian Bradshaw, lived his life anonymously. He fought to preserve the freedoms of this country and died, far from home, on the foreign soil of Afghanistan. His death might have gone completely unnoticed by the media if a relative had not written a letter to the Washington Post. Even so, he will not get the adulation of millions of strangers, a televised funeral and celebrity tributes.

Next time we discuss current events over dinner, I'm hoping my kids don't ask why so much attention was paid to Michael Jackson while a brave warrior got barely a mention. Thinking about the inequality somehow makes me lose my appetite.

Rose Godfrey is a speech pathologist and homeschooling mom in Hallwood. Her homeschool blog can be found on the Appeal-Democrat Web site at www.appealdemocrat.com.