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Mother of Marysville murderer reveals anguish over son
When Marcus Nelson Hume gunned down Steven "Sam" Moore on New Year's Eve, he also crushed his mother.
"There's no support groups that I know about for mothers of murderers," Diane Good said.
Good, 53, sometimes tried blacking out her emotions with alcohol. Sometimes she tried to write. Sometimes she visited her son in jail. Sometimes she took antidepressants. Sometimes she blamed herself.
Mostly, she said, she felt blank. Good spent the last year alone in her bedroom, tormented, conflicted and unable to understand why her son killed a man.
But with her son's fate sealed behind prison bars, Good wants to come to grips with the sins of her son and the bitter pain he inflicted on so many people.
"I can't or don't know how to say anything other than I'm very sorry for what my son did," Good said, "and I feel even more for (Moore's family) losing a husband and a father."
Good's 33-year-old son was sentenced last month to 55 years to life in prison after pleading guilty to shooting Moore.
"I can at least talk to my son, but that family can't ever talk to their husband or father or brother," Good said.
Looking back at her child's life, Good fears she may be partially responsible for her son's actions.
"Marcus was molested when he was a boy, maybe 10 or 11 (years old)," Good said. "Before the man that hurt him went to prison, I beat the hell out of (the man)."
Good said she and a friend took the man to a secluded place and nearly killed him.
"And Marcus knew we did that," Good said. "Maybe that played a part in what Marcus did."
For a long time after his arrest, Hume claimed Moore had made a sex tape with a girl Hume was dating. Hume claimed the girl was 17 at the time the tape was made.
There's never been any proof that Hume's claims were true. Police, prosecutor and defense investigators searched for the rumored tape for months, but never found anything.
Good can't be sure if her actions influenced her son. It's another haunting conflict that weighs on her mind. She believes she was taking care of her son by hurting the man that hurt him.
"I'm sure I would probably handle it the same way, probably," Good said.
It's not even clear if Hume really believed the allegations he made against the man he murdered. Hume's version of events changed many times. He has wavered between remorse and indifference about the killing.
During the trial of his co-conspirator, William Silliman, Hume claimed he was acting in self-defense. At his sentencing hearing, Hume asked Moore's family to forgive him.
"I want people to know that my son does have a heart and does care about what he did," Good said.
The first time she visited her son after the killing, Good said barely a word was spoken between the tears both shed. Hume told his mother he just wanted to come home.
"I told him it was too late for that. That he should've thought about that before he did what he did," Good said.
Moore's sister, Massalina Lane, said her family does not blame Good.
"I do feel bad for his mother. She can't help what he did," Lane said. "I don't feel sorry for (Hume), but for her — if it was my son, I wouldn't know what to do. The same with Silliman. We know it's not the parents' fault."
Good now tries to focus on her own future, her six other adult children and her new grandchild. She's getting herself together. She's coping.
In a letter to the Appeal-Democrat, Good wrote about her anguish and her anger. At the end of the letter, Good wrote directly to her son and said whatever else she has accepted about him, he is still her child, even if it hurts.
"I love you, son, always and forever."
CONTACT Rob Parsons at email@example.com or 749-4785. Find him on Facebook at /ADcrimebeat or on Twitter at @ADcrimebeat.