No. 36 will be forever a Spartan

It's not a legacy any parent wants to leave. But the ceremony today that will retire Cody Nelson's No. 36 football jersey at East Nicolaus High School represents one more step in a long grieving process for the family and the community, says his father, Eric Nelson.

Cody Nelson, 17, was killed on the night of July 3, when his motorcycle collided head-on with one driven by his friend, Blake Taddy, now 18.

Taddy suffered serious injuries from which he still has not fully recovered, according to Nelson's mother, Debbie Darrough Nelson.

"Everybody's in this healing process together," she said.

Darrough Nelson was in Juneau, Alaska, helping a close friend prepare dinner for a family member's wedding party, when her son's accident occurred.

Eric Nelson was away on a business trip in Hanford. Family members had been looking after the boys, he explained.

Colten Nelson, 12, heard the sound of crashing motorcycles near the family's home off Bear River Drive in Rio Oso. It was 9:30 at night, and dark, and he ran to the scene. He dialed 911.

Then he called his mom.

"He described what he could see with his flashlight," said Darrough Nelson. "He said, 'they're both knocked out, mom.'"

Colten related to his mother that the scene was a bloody one.

"Then he said, 'Cody's not breathing. What am I going to do?'"

Darrough Nelson felt sure her eldest son would come to, or that the paramedics, who were en route, could revive him.

"Just be with your brother," she told Colten. "Hold him so he's not alone. They'll ask you to leave, but you stay right there.'"

Then she called several neighbors.

"It's bad," she said. "Go to my house."

This scene, Darrough Nelson said, "plays over in my mind often."

"It is a parent's worst nightmare," said Eric Nelson, who got a strange message that night asking him to telephone his cousin.

He got the basic information about Cody, and rushed home in a daze.

The three months that have passed since then, he said, "seem like an eternity."

He relies a lot on his youngest son to get him through.

"Colten seems to be doing better than his dad," said Nelson. "He has been our shining star."

Nelson and his son take hunting trips together.

A year ago, Cody had been there, too.

Colten wears the No. 36 and plays linebacker — like his brother did — in his role with the Wheatland Pirates youth football team.

He also plays quarterback for a flag football team at Browns Elementary in Rio Oso.

"And he's got straight A's," said Eric Nelson. "It's amazing."

Colten's mom said the loss of his brother has been hard on him.

"He is very sensitive," she said of her youngest son. "But he is resilient."

Neither Cody nor Blake Taddy had been wearing protective gear when the accident occurred, and neither motorcycle had lights.

Speculation and rumors that circulated outside the community in the aftermath suggested the teenagers had been using drugs or alcohol, said Eric Nelson.

Toxicology reports proved otherwise, but not before adding an unnecessary layer of emotional hurt for family members, Nelson said.

Tonight's ceremony — scheduled to be held in the short recess between the junior varsity and varsity football games — is something the school badly needs, said East Nicolaus High assistant coach Richard Quick.

Cody Nelson, "was a kid everybody liked," Quick said. "We only have 300 students here, so you can't not have it affect you. I miss Cody a lot myself."

Acknowledging the loss of their friend will be healthy for the tight-knit school population and staff, he said.

The school's coaches designed a special shoulder patch with Cody's jersey number set against hunter's camouflage. Football team members will wear the patch on their uniforms for the rest of the season.

Cody Nelson's father and grandfather are graduates of East Nicolaus High. Generations of children have grown up playing schoolyard games and then sports together, Eric Nelson said. Teachers are neighbors. Neighbors are friends. Families are intertwined.

In the wake of Cody's death, his mother said, "people pretty much dropped everything else in their lives."

She received enough gifts of food in the week following her son's death that she didn't cook for a month. Neighbors mowed her lawn.

One friend made her a quilt with Cody's photo screened on to it.

The Nelsons have invited some of Taddy's family members to have dinner with the Nelson family tonight before the ceremony.

Blake Taddy, Eric Nelson said, "has been through a tremendous tragedy, also."

"We try to keep up the bonds of our family friendship," he said.

Next Tuesday would have been Cody's 18th birthday, and his father's birthday falls a few days later. The holiday season that follows promises to be a tough one.

Cody's shop class recently completed construction of an announcer's booth for the football stadium, which Cody worked on in the spring.

The booth will be the backdrop for Cody's retired jersey, Quick said.

The retired jersey of another deceased former East Nicolaus student, Will Maloney, will be mounted beside it.

"Hopefully, we'll never have to put another one up there after that," Quick said.

Contact Appeal-Democrat reporter Nancy Pasternack at 749-4712 or at npasternack@appealdemocrat.com