Cynthia Tucker: Once-skeptical public falls in love with the first lady

First Lady Michelle Obama's easy charm is so infectious that she melted the famously stiff and formal Queen of England, Elizabeth, who embraced Mrs. Obama — it was a demure, hand-on-the-back gesture — during a G-20 reception last week.

"It was a mutual and spontaneous display of affection," said a Buckingham Palace spokesman, who added that he couldn't remember the last time the queen had so publicly departed from the royals' no-touching protocol.

Back on this side of the Atlantic, Michelle Obama has also won rave reviews from a once-skeptical public, with a recent Gallup Poll giving her a 72 percent favorability rating, slightly higher than the president's. Though detractors still occasionally pan her fashion choices or cluck prudishly over her athletic bare arms, Americans clearly have taken to their new first lady.

The triumph of Michelle Obama is a tale as surprising and as profound as the election of her husband, the nation's first black president. The first lady is a national icon, a mirror for our changing mores, a symbol of our aspirations for wives and mothers, a role model for gracious hostesses and socially conscious volunteers. Those never clearly defined roles have been made all the more difficult of late because of the culture wars, with the first lady finding herself on the fault line between traditionalists (who loved the old-fashioned, behind-the scenes style of Barbara Bush) and progressives (who favored the ambitious and outspoken Hillary Clinton).

It's hard to imagine how difficult it must be to step into that role as a tall and confident woman with brown skin and a no-nonsense manner. Not to mention two Ivy League degrees. Yet, Michelle Obama has captivated a nation still ambivalent about high-achieving women, still adoring of the blond beauty standard, still capable of dredging up ugly old stereotypes about its darker sisters. That's progress.

She deserves much of the credit for her newfound popularity, of course. She evinced a self-assurance and grace under pressure that saw her through the vile accusations she endured during the campaign.

When she clumsily remarked that "for the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country," she was bashed as unpatriotic. Her teasing put-downs of her husband were lambasted as "emasculating." Her affectionate fist-bump, shared with her husband on a public stage, was called a "terrorist fist jab."

A right-wing Internet whispering campaign insisted that a long-lost video would emerge in which she could be heard calling white Americans "whitey." (No such video exists.) Critics denounced her as an "angry black woman" (ultra-conservative columnist Cal Thomas) or "Mrs. Grievance" (conservative opinion journal National Review), a constant drubbing that probably accounted for the 45 percent favorability rating she held, according to Gallup, last June.

Like many successful political wives before her, she learned to soften her image, to repress her spontaneity (unfortunately), to find issues and causes that would not draw unflattering attention. Still, she stayed true to herself, relishing her role as the mother of two young girls without pretending to be clueless about public policy. She manages to stand effortlessly astride the tired old fracture between traditionalists and progressives.

But Michelle's triumph is also America's, and the citizenry deserves ample credit for embracing a first lady who doesn't look like those who served up tea before her. Many white Americans may have harbored old stereotypes — born of their lack of exposure to middle-class black folks — but they were willing to set aside those discredited notions to get to know Michelle Obama. When they saw a well-spoken and well-educated woman who worries about rearing her daughters in the spotlight, who serves up soup to the homeless and who occasionally wears a dress that doesn't flatter her -- well, they liked what they saw. She's a modern woman to whom they can relate.

Will the honeymoon last? It's inevitable that the first lady will stumble along the way, making an impolitic remark or infuriating a powerful constituency. She's not perfect — any more than the first ladies who preceded her. Michelle may carry a higher burden of expectations than those she succeeds, but perfection shouldn't be required of her, since it hasn't been required before.

Cynthia Tucker, editorial page editor for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, won the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for commentary. Her column appears Sundays.