Today's kids grow up on a regular diet of porn

Dear Straight Talk: My friend, "Sheryl," caught her son viewing porn on his computer with some other boys. When she got upset, he told her that everybody watches it and to chill out. She moved his computer to the living room, but he is almost 18 and she's at a loss. What should she do? — Darlene, Laguna Niguel

Charles, 23, Sacramento: Get over it. I saw porn the first time at a friend's house around age 10. It was the first year most of us had Internet service. After that, trading floppy discs of porn images became a normal part of boy life.

Today, the joke among all my guy friends is: "How many gigs of porn do you have?" In college, some kids had 200 hours of porn on their computers! Porn is a good thing, a healthier outlet than unsafe sex, prostitution or rape.

Jessie, 17, Ashland, Ore.: I was 12 when I Googled something for school and a vivid pop-up appeared. I was so embarrassed, I closed the screen and took a zero on the assignment. My girlfriends don't watch porn, but I'm not positive about my guy friends. I think high school is too young for porn, but at 18, it's legal, so your friend should ease up — or ask him not to watch it at home.

Liz, 17, Sacramento: At age 12, I was given my 20-year-old brother's computer, which was loaded with porn. I was somewhat intrigued and took a look, but after that, I had minimal exposure. Since puberty, I've looked occasionally and have watched porn with my boyfriend once or twice. Most people I know view porn and are comfortable with it, including older couples. It seems relatively harmless, unless it becomes addictive or lowers respect for women.

Rachel, 18, Fair Oaks: I've never known girls to watch porn together, but guys often do. I walked in on a 13-year-old boy and his friends watching porn. I was baby-sitting his younger sisters and wasn't much older than he.

When kids mess around on computers, they will see porn. My first time, it scared me to death! But in my mid-teens, I explored it and think it can be stimulating. Yet for those not mature enough, it can be dangerous, as much of it is aggressive and degrades women.

Graham, 15, Fair Oaks: Your friend is overreacting. Unless her son is obsessed with porn, there's nothing to worry about. It's totally common. According to Family Safe Media, 42.7 percent of Internet users watch porn, 72 percent of them male. Professor Steven Landsburg (University of Rochester) reports: "A 10 percent increase in 'Net access yields about a 7.3 percent decrease in reported rapes." Bottom line: Porn doesn't hurt people and may actually help them.

Dear Darlene: The argument that pornography is harmless for a growing mind is ridiculous. Yet I hear it from young people over and over. (See archives on our Web site for February, March and May 2007.)

Parents, it's your home; you make the rules. Just as you express disapproval and set rules around drugs, you must do the same for porn as soon as your child begins using a computer. Ninety percent of kids age 8 to 16 have viewed porn on the Internet — usually while doing homework. It is habit-forming, and many view it regularly. Don't let media have privacy with your child. Computers and TVs should always be in well-trafficked locations and armed with porn-blockers.

Sheryl did right to move the computer. Better late than never. She should also install blockers and clearly state no-porn rules for the household. The good part is her rules will give her almost-adult age son a reason (something sorely lacking today) to want to move out upon graduating — which is precisely when a parent's "stupid rules" start making sense.

Lauren Forcella co-writes Straight Talk with a panel of 30 teens and young adults. To ask a question or become a panelist, click www.StraightTalkForTeens.com or write to P.O. Box 963, Fair Oaks, CA 95628.