Only time will tell if learning to wait was worth the wait

I am going on record to say that I've asked my family for a saucepot for my birthday. It was a toss up between that and some fancy goat-milking equipment, but in the end, practicality and frugality trumped frivolous on my wish list. Brian has gotten used to my strange birthday requests after I got excited over a pair of swings he hung from a tree. I am easily amused.

Birthdays are a big deal, and around our house, we have plenty to celebrate. Fortunately for the budget, birthdays are spread through the year, with one in every month except for January and December. We almost missed April when Atticus decided to go past his due date, but a couple of years later, Sicily graciously filled in the gap.

We mark most birthdays quietly at home with a meal and dessert of choice, surrounded by family. A few dates, though, are exceptions. As we do in many other areas, we try to make the aging process a chance to learn. In this case, we want our children to learn to wait.

The first big birthday milestone is at age 3. This is when our kids get to chew gum as a reward for giving up using a pacifier or sucking a thumb. About six months before the big day, we start telling the kids that big kids get to chew gum. So far, it has worked.

Olivia just reached the much-anticipated age of 6, and she is finally free of the car seat. In the few weeks before her birthday, she had lobbied nearly daily to get rid of the car seat early, but we just commiserated with her that yes, it is hard to wait.

Along the way, there are other benefits ascribed to age. Painted nails and pierced ears have made the list of privileges worth waiting for. At age 14, we have another big party. Our culture has largely abandoned coming-of-age celebrations, so we've crafted our own events. The girls get a limo ride, the boys get a camping trip. We ask family and adult friends to come to a party for the child of honor and bring letters of advice and encouragement.

Sixteen is another age tied to a series of privileges. Driving is exciting, but even better, there is the end of Quiet Time. Quiet Time is that magical time of night after 8 p.m. when the children go to their rooms to have some down time before lights out. It is my time to think, plan and unwind (unless the baby has other plans).

Naturally, the little ones have a slew of reasons they need to stay up with me. I just listen, smile and assign a load of laundry to be folded. Nobody wants to stay up after that. At 16, though, all that changes. They are free to stay out and old enough to want to spend time alone. Ah, the irony.

Learning to wait isn't just a birthday thing. We finish our chores before we have our ice cream, we try to save and plan for big expenses and let the kids see us do it. I want my kids to have the good stuff in life; I just want them to understand that waiting for something special — more than just gum and nail polish, of course — is more valuable for having persevered.

Is my plan to teach delayed gratification working? I think so — but I have to wait to find out.

Rose Godfrey is a speech pathologist and homeschooling mom in Hallwood. Her homeschool blog can be found on the Appeal-Democrat Web site at www.appealdemocrat.com.