Should I call back after the interview?

Q: My interview was two weeks ago, and I still haven't heard back. (I sent a thank-you e-mail after the interview, of course.) I would really like to work there! I want to show my excitement, but I don't want to look desperate. Should I call or e-mail and say, "Hey, remember me?"

NICK'S REPLY: That depends on whether you have other options. It's all about leverage: Do you have any? Without options, you have little leverage because you have nowhere else to go.

On the other hand, if you have developed other good opportunities, then you're in a position to try to speed this up. For example, "I want to work for you, but I have other opportunities pending. Is there anything else you would like to know about me? It would help me to know when you will make a decision."

As long as you are reasonable and polite when you ask for a decision schedule, a good employer should be candid. If they aren't helpful, it's possible they don't know what they want. That should influence your desire to work there. Remember that interviewing and hiring are business interactions. All parties involved deserve respect and candor. If your own schedule isn't respected, it may be time to walk away.

So what should you do at this point? If you're in a real hurry, you should absolutely get in touch with the hiring manager, reiterate your interest and ask for a decision date. If you want the job, say so clearly. This is no time to be coy. In fact, you should be assertive. Ask the manager to "grade" you: "Did I show you that I could do the job and do it profitably?" It's a powerful way to stand out.

Never leave an interview without getting a clear time frame from the hiring manager. That gives you something to refer to when you make this follow-up call.

There's a bit of a risk in this approach. But I think there's a bigger risk in sitting around waiting.

THE HEADHUNTER TIP: How to deal with headhunters.

Nowadays, "headhunters" call people at all levels of experience, not just executives. But not all are who they say they are. The way to deal with headhunters who call out of the blue is to use common sense.

• Find out exactly who you're dealing with, or don't work with him.

• Check the headhunter's identity. Look him up online and confirm his business. Unfortunately, the business attracts shady people.

• Check references. A good headhunter has a good reputation and protects it vigilantly. You should turn up no surprises.

• Protect yourself by protecting your personal information. Some of it may already be on the Internet. You needlessly expose more of it.

• Treat headhunters like you'd treat any salesperson. Judge whether they know what they're talking about and what they're doing.

Don't let your enthusiasm supersede judgment. Know who you're dealing with.

THE HEADHUNTER CHALLENGE

Is it OK to write your own reference letter?

A boss you worked for two companies ago likes and respects you and is glad to give you a good recommendation as you apply for a new job. But when you request a reference letter, she instructs you to write it — and then she will sign it. Is it OK to do this?

POLL

1. Of course. The boss will obviously sign it only if she agrees with what it says. No harm done.

2. You got lucky: Don't ask questions, just write it and have her sign it before she changes her mind!

3. Politely decline and tell the boss you'd rather the letter be in her own words.

4. Skip it. Go ask someone else who will actually write a reference for you.

Read The Headhunter's expert opinion online at www.appealdemocrat.com. Keyword: headhunter

Write to Nick at P.O. Box 600, Lebanon, NJ 08833; or www.asktheheadhunter.com.

COMMENTARY

Is it OK if you write your own recommendation or reference letter and let your former boss sign it? What does that say about you? About your boss?

I've discussed this important topic several times in the Ask The Headhunter Newsletter (www.asktheheadhunter.com/subscribe1.htm) and on my blog. The volume of comments from readers has been great, and I want to help more people think about this.

A boss who — when asked if she will write a recommendation — tells the individual to write his own reference letter so the boss can sign it is irresponsible. She's disrespecting her own company, the employee and the entire business community. A manager somewhere will read that reference and base a hiring decision on it — at least in part. It makes me wonder, is this where some crummy hires come from?

There are legitimate ways for an employee to make the letter-writing task a bit easier for the boss, and to reasonably influence the result without compromising everyone involved. For example, you might provide your former boss with a factual list of accomplishments to remind her how you performed when you worked for her. But a manager signing off on your judgments as though they are her own — that undermines business at a fundamental level.

Most Ask The Headhunter readers who have responded to my past columns got their hackles up over this topic. One said his former boss did this routinely, and called him "a feckless loser." One said the failure of managers to actually take the time to write a reference is "another example of the general malaise that exists in corporate America. It is like a cancer that is spreading exponentially." Many readers have pointed to an underlying management problem. One expressed it very simply: "Not only is it deceitful, but it's also lazy and bad management practice."

But one reader says this is just how business is done and chided me for not accepting it:

"I spent 25 years in corporate roles, including leadership at executive levels, and 10 years in my own business. I would guess that from what I have seen, 90 percent of reference letters are written by the person for their boss who then edits and signs it. This is neither counterfeiting nor is it fraud. It is actually how a great amount of this type of business gets done in a timely manner. I personally believe you are being inflexible. Perhaps you have been a bit far removed from the corporate world."

Perhaps bosses who play this game with references have been in the corporate world too long. If 90 percent of people write their own references, then 90 percent of people are behaving unethically. My opinion wouldn't change if 100 percent were doing it. Consider how often we encounter news about little frauds enabling big frauds in business. Do we really need more little frauds?

Either managers have high standards and uphold the value of their word, or they don't. Managers who rationalize "the little stuff" graduate to misrepresent the big stuff, and that's how bad stuff happens. Maybe that really is how 90 percent of business is done.

So my answer to this Challenge is to pose a choice to you. Do you want to contribute to lax ethical standards, or do you want to strengthen your relationships with ethical managers who are glad to provide honest references for you?

I'll turn this around and ask managers: When you hire someone, do you know where his references come from?