Letter: Ban guns? We should ban cars, too, then
I appreciate the letter submitted by Karner Trethewey, "Weapons of mass slaying." The letter writer is correct. We can "no longer dismiss" this massacre problem. Let us address every single problem in the United States that causes unnecessary loss of life, and not that which is just the hot topic of the month:
Driving: Let us outlaw This activity which took nearly 33,000 lives last year alone. We need to have a government buy back of all vehicles and demolish them immediately, returning to horse and buggy for transportation. Surely the founding fathers never anticipated vehicles that could go so fast they kill people?
Alcohol: Let us now outlaw the practice of drinking a liquid that has no appreciable effect to the human life. Last year alone, alcohol caused 75,000 people to leave this earth before their time. As of tomorrow, a government program shall dispose of all alcohol.
Smoking: Another 443,000 deaths each year. Secondhand smoke accounts for another 54,000 of innocent bystanders. A government program shall destroy all tobacco products making everyone safe and healthy.
Obesity: Prematurely causes a decrease 300,000 lives each year. That's it. No more fast food, sugar, or overeating. McDonald's shall be given a two-day head start, then we pummel them with carrots.
Bathing: Nearly one person a day falls prey to bathtub drowning. As of now, no more hygiene.
Wrenches: Too risky. I knew a guy who died from one.
And "use in moderation" is out. Because that can't be true. I mean, everyone who legally owns an assault weapon in the United States is just waiting to massacre others, right? That would be well over 1.5 million law-abiding owners who have never bothered any of you.