Two dozen men, women and children strolled the streets of western Yuba City early Sunday morning. It was no parade, but rather a quiet, two-mile procession of those joined together by loss - the loss of children.
From Harter Park they walked slowly, even somberly, with those in front carrying a sign reading “We Need Not Walk Alone.” Pinned front and back to their shirts were placards bearing the names of children lost - to childhood disease or sudden infant death, or to violence or suicide in adulthood. Silk-screened on many T-shirts was a heart-shaped logo with a child’s silhouette - an image that resembled a bite taken out of the wearer’s heart.
It was the eighth annual national Walk to Remember, a gathering of Yuba-Sutter members of the support group The Compassionate Friends. Local chapters of the nonprofit group hold twice-monthly sessions for the relatives of the dead - whether children or adults - and the walk symbolized the solidarity that tragedy forced on them.
On Sunday, Mid-Valley members described Compassionate Friends meetings as a godsend for those forced to cope with the pain of relatives’ deaths.
“I came in six months into my grief, in 1991,” said Nancy Wright, an organizer of the walk, whose son, Anthony, was murdered at age 19. “It was my lifeline for seven years; it held me up.”
“With the death of a child, you never feel quite whole again,” Wright said, a picture button of Christopher on her shirt, as the procession began down Steven Way. “This group affords us the opportunity to get together in a place where we feel accepted.”
The Walk to Remember culminated with one more remembrance at the park’s rose garden, where members signed loved ones’ names onto helium balloons and set them aloft. Soon, most of the people were gone - all except Joel Copeland, a burly Air Force veteran with eyes softened by his daughter Amber’s suicide barely three weeks earlier.
On Friday, the Yuba City resident had met with local Compassionate Friends for the first time and began trying to cope with losing 20-year-old Amber, who had suffered from alcohol abuse and eating disorders.
“When it’s something out of the natural order, like losing a child, it’s hard to get anybody to understand your grief,” said Copeland. “I’m not trying to get people to understand my grief; right now I’m seeking people who do understand my grief.”