DEAR ABBY: I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately, more than usual. I’m not angry about anything, just in pain. I keep getting knocked down after I try so hard to pick myself up. I tried calling a hotline, gave up on that. (I guess they’re busy.) I can’t afford doctors and psychiatrists.

The weather’s changing, and I don’t do well in the cold. I always get down when the temperatures drop. I love my home, but sometimes I wonder if I’m really happy here. I can’t imagine leaving. 

My kids live within a couple hours’ drive. They have beautiful kids of their own. I’m going to miss them dearly. I no longer feel I have anything to offer in other aspects of my life. I wonder why I have to just exist. I’ve heard people say when someone dies “at least they’re not in pain anymore.” That sounds pretty good to me.

I guess I just really wanted to get this off my chest. I don’t expect a miracle, but thanks for listening.– ANONYMOUS IN ARKANSAS

DEAR ANONYMOUS: You’re welcome. I’m glad you shared your feelings. You are NOT alone, and there is help for you. Pick up the phone and call 800-273-8255. It’s the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and it is staffed 24 hours a day by people who can help you to form coping strategies for your depression. I don’t know what number you called the first time – you may have misdialed – but there IS help available, and no one is “too busy” to provide it. You simply have to reach out for it. Please don’t wait. 


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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