DEAR ABBY: After a long relationship, “Eric” and I plan on getting married very soon. My problem is, Eric is secretive. He keeps his phone right next to him, and before he walks into the house, he sits in his car, clearing his history. I know he looks at porn, and I’m not happy about it, but it’s the other things I’m angry and confused about.
He secretly has social media. I know he’s been sending pictures of himself to women, and they send pictures to him. Isn’t that cheating? I think secret phone and video calls to women is cheating. I saw an image of a woman’s private parts on his phone, and he told me lies about it. When I have confronted him about chatting with the other women, he gets angry and withdraws. One woman even sent me their chat history, and he lied about that, too.
Abby, I love my man, but I feel he’s cheating. I don’t know what else to do as there’s a wedding soon.– DESPERATE FOR ANSWERS
DEAR DESPERATE: I have sad news for you. Eric isn’t “your” man. From your description, you are sharing him with heaven only knows how many others. You already know he has a problem with the truth. When you tried to do something about it, he became emotionally abusive. This is what your future will be if you marry him.
I have only three words of advice for you, and I sincerely hope you will take them to heart: CANCEL THE WEDDING!
DEAR ABBY: My neighbor has a 17-year-old daughter. Fifteen weekdays a month she and a boy from school come home for 30 to 50 minutes during the noon hour. (Five days a month she comes home by herself.) Her mom and dad are both at work. Do you think her parents should know about the “nooners” at their house?– NOSY NEIGHBOR IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR NEIGHBOR: Yes, I do think you should casually ask if they are aware of it. However, when you do, make sure not to sound accusatory or judgmental -- just “curious.”