DEAR ABBY: I divorced my wife 20 years ago, leaving behind two daughters. My older girl was 5 when I left, and due to my ex’s lies, I wasn’t able to see them. 

When my older daughter turned 18, she contacted me. She confessed that she had been forced to lie in court, and we reconnected. At 19, she came to me pregnant. She asked if I would take her baby and asked that I tell no one, especially her mother. I agreed. 

Last year, my daughter died in a car wreck. My granddaughter will turn 4. Should I go against my daughter’s wishes, tell my ex and risk her taking her? Or should I let things remain as they are? My current wife and I are the only people who know.–SECRET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SECRET: I urge you to discuss this matter with a lawyer because there may be legal ramifications. Your former wife has demonstrated she is the kind of person who would force a child to lie in a custody matter. Having done it once, she’s capable of doing something equally underhanded. I am trying hard to come up with a reason why you should go against your daughter’s wishes and disclose this to your ex, and I cannot think of a single one. 

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