DEAR ABBY: I love my mother, but our relationship has been awkward since I came out to her when I was 13. After I told her I was gay, she grew more and more distant. She went into full grandma mode for my sister and her sons and, in my eyes, neglected me.
She was seldom home, and when she was, we would argue about everything. It got so bad that I left and moved in with my aunt, who was like a mom to me. My sister told me she thinks Mom is in denial because every time my sister would want to talk about it, Mom would clam up.
Mom and I have NEVER talked about it. I clearly recall the day I came out. When I told Mom, she said she already knew. Then she added, “It’s just a phase.”
I’m sad that even after 12 years she still hasn’t accepted that this is who I am and who I have always been. It upsets me that she doesn’t know all of me. Should I have a sit-down talk with her like the adults we are? – SAME SON AS ALWAYS
DEAR SAME SON: Only you can make the decision to have that important conversation with your mother. Before you do, I’m advising you to contact an organization called PFLAG. PFLAG helps to build bridges of understanding between families and their LGBTQ members. You can find it by going online to pflag.org. If your concern is that your mother’s position may force you to end your relationship with her, prepare in advance by making sure you have a loving support system around you.
DEAR ABBY: When my daughter and her husband eat in a restaurant, he insists they order the same thing. If he thinks her plate looks better, he switches them. This baffles me. Does this happen to anyone else? What do you think of this?– BAFFLED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR BAFFLED: I think your son-in-law has no consideration for your daughter’s feelings, and that people who are greedy and inconsiderate about food are usually the same about other things. (He could also be controlling and/or have OCD.)