DEAR ABBY: I’m a 19-year-old male and suffer from a predicament. 

Let’s just say my “package has been delivered undersized.” It is depressing, and it has held me back from going after girls. I decline dates because I feel so self-conscious. 

Now, people are starting to ask me why I haven’t had a girlfriend yet. 

The truth is, I’m terrified about the reaction I’ll get if I ever end up in the bedroom. I’m still a virgin because of this large (yet small) dilemma. 

Do you have any advice on what I should do to fix this? – SMALL PROBLEM IN THE USA

DEAR SMALL PROBLEM: As a matter of fact, I do. Males (and females, too) come in a variety of sizes, and there is a broad range that defines “normal.”

 Because this bothers you to the extent that you are afraid of a normal social life, pay a visit to your doctor to have an honest discussion. Size does not necessarily dictate the degree of satisfaction a couple can achieve, and you can take THAT statement to the bank.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are 70, married 44 years and have one adult child. 

My wife has four friends she meets for coffee once a month. 

One of them mentioned at the gathering how proud I am of our son, who has lost 80 pounds due to a disciplined change in his lifestyle. 

My wife was embarrassed that I told her friend. I thought it was a good thing. 

My wife said it made her look bad in the eyes of her friends, who all portray their children as without-blemish-perfect. 

I told my wife I thought she was very insecure. I am confused about her reaction. Can you give me any insight? – IT’S A GOOD THING

DEAR GOOD THING: You did nothing wrong. Your son’s achievement is significant and to be applauded. 

Your wife may have preferred her friends not know that her son had a severe weight problem, although if they are all “good” friends and any of them had seen him, it would have been obvious. 

Not knowing your wife, I can’t offer more insight than that.



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Recommended for you