DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and have been kicked out of my house. I’m grateful for everything my parents have done for me. My dad continues to compare me to my older siblings, although I’m the exact opposite of them. They are not going to college, they barely graduated from high school and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.
I’m in college earning almost all A’s. I graduated from high school with flying colors and have a steady job. I provide for myself (food, gas, buying anything I need) and pay for car insurance. I have tried my hardest to be the best daughter and a good influence for my younger siblings.
I have asked my father multiple times during the last year to stop comparing me to my older siblings. He hasn’t. Our last conversation was a few weeks ago, when he told me to pack my stuff and get out of the house because I was an “ungrateful daughter” and “hoeing around just like my older siblings.”
I have been focusing on my education and can’t understand how he came to that conclusion. Frankly, I was very hurt he thought that of me. I’m not my siblings; I am myself, and I’m doing the best I can to give myself a successful future. My father refuses to see that. What should I do?– BEWILDERED DAUGHTER IN TEXAS
DEAR DAUGHTER: I don’t know what’s wrong with your father, but something is. You appear to be mature and responsible and doing your best to lay the foundation for a successful future. I applaud you for it.
If it’s possible for you to live elsewhere, perhaps with other relatives, and avoid your father’s uncalled-for verbal abuse, it might be healthier for you. Do not expect him to be pleased about it, because no matter how hard you try, you may never be able to please him, so be prepared.