DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a friend, “George,” who rents our upstairs. Our home is large, and the second floor has all the amenities of a 2,500-square-foot house. He has his separate entrance and never has to come through our living space.

In the beginning, I agreed to the arrangement because he was going through a divorce and needed a place to live. Now, for the past several months, his ex has been spending nights upstairs. We just celebrated the holidays, and his family was here together. 

I’m feeling very confused and uncomfortable having them both up there. Now that George seems to have worked through his marital problems, I feel it’s time he moves out. My husband doesn’t understand why I feel this way and can’t understand why I want my house back! Please give me some insight on how to handle this. Or am I overreacting? Please tell me I’m not being selfish– BEING USED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BEING USED: You are not selfish, and you’re not overreacting. Refresh your husband’s memory about how the arrangement began. It was a safe refuge for a friend going through a traumatic life change. Those circumstances no longer apply, and if you are not comfortable with George entertaining his ex under your roof, it is understandable. Communal living is not for everyone.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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