DEAR ABBY: I live in a densely populated luxury high-rise apartment building in a busy downtown neighborhood that has a diverse mix of residents. I have lived here for four years and have never really had many issues, until recently. 

My next-door neighbor works in the medical field that at times has very late or early hours associated with it. I also work in a field that has odd hours, so I am empathetic. My issue is, she has a new boyfriend she is intimate with anywhere between 2 and 4 a.m. I am a light sleeper and get awakened by their sessions together. I can hear her voice and at times, jostling of furniture. 

I have thought about telling the building management, but it would be obvious that the complaint would have come from me, and I don’t want that. I also don’t want to cause embarrassment to either of us. How can I address this delicately, without causing embarrassment, or must I suck it up and suffer?–SLEEPLESS IN CHICAGO

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Write your neighbor a sweet note explaining the problem and ask if there is anything she can do to muffle the sounds you are hearing. (It might be something as simple as moving her bed away from the wall or placing it against a different one.) However, if she’s uncooperative, as a last resort, do discuss your problem with the building manager. I assure you, it won’t be the first time he or she has heard something like this, or the last. 


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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